The Many Thoughts of Mea
by and it feels like finally
Summary: Just so you know, my name's Mea. It's pronounced meh; please don't get it wrong. And don't worry, I don't require some poncy title like Lysander does.     A little spin-off to 'The Most Evil Mind of Lysander Scamander'


_**A/N – Hello! Here is just a little one-shot I thought it would be fun to write as a spin off to Lysander =). Credit to my awesome friend May for the whole inspiration of the character Mea (and the name!), and also to her Hamster, Bessie, who features in this story as well. This isn't brilliant, but I enjoyed writing it, I might even continue writing days of Mea's life. Please review! **_

_**Before you read this, I would advise reading 'The Most Evil Mind of Lysander Scamander' – it might not make much sense otherwise ;).**_

The Many Thoughts of Mea

Well, hello. Erm, I'm not exactly sure what to write in here. I suppose I should start with something like 'Dear Diary', but I think that's a little too… Normal. You see, life is never _ever_ normal when you're Lysan- The Great Master of All's evil assistant. That's where I got the idea from, really, I saw him writing in his diary (he calls it his 'Instructive Guide on the Inner Workings of a Great Evil Mind', or something to that extent, but I know it's just a diary), so I thought I'd start my own.

Just so you know, my name's Mea. It's pronounced meh; please don't get it wrong, that's one of the few things that bothers me. I don't require a poncy title like Lysander does, although it is one of my greatest ambitions to, in the future, be the best evil assistant the world has ever seen. Okay, maybe I just want to impress Lysander (he thinks I'm just a lowly Hufflepuff), but don't, under any circumstances, tell him that. See, I can be authorative when I want to be. Just ask my hamster, Tessie. I'm actually training her to be a ninja, so that she can go on evil missions for me and my master. At least, that's what I'm hoping for: she hasn't done much but sit still for the past 3 training sessions. Maybe she needs more treats. I haven't told Lysander about me training Tessie yet though, I'm hoping it will be a surprise, and then he might fall in love with me. Okay, so I know that's never going to happen, but an evil assistant can dream, can't she?

…

I still don't really know what to write. How about I tell you a bit about myself? Yeah, that's a good idea. So, I'm called Mea. You knew that already. I'm 15 years old and go to Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry. I'm a witch, you see. Not a mean with warts all over their face. A nice one. I'm even a Hufflepuff, which _proves _that I'm nice. I am Lysander's evil assistant though, which you probably worked out from what I wrote above, so that might contradict the niceness a bit (I learnt that big word from Lysander: he uses big words all the time). However (I learnt that one from him too), I only really signed up because I wanted him to notice me. It worked! My plans don't often work you see; I once tried to steal a cupcake from the kitchens, but I didn't realise that the house elves actually wanted me to have the food. They must be Hufflepuffs too.

Lysander is a Ravenclaw though. He said he hates it, and is always going on about being a Sytherin, or getting transferred to some school on Mars. But I know he secretly likes being a Ravenclaw: and he's far too odd for Slytherin. He doesn't like being called Lysander either, but those incredibly long titles he demands to be called take too much effort to write down. I think it's fine for me just to call him Lysander in here, he isn't ever going to read this, after all.

Actually, it's almost time for me to go and take Lysander his daily hot chocolate. He requested marshmallows and chocolate sprinkles today, which is his usual, but without the whipped cream. I made a survey of his hot chocolatey needs last night, so if he forgets to tell me what he wants, I can consult my notebook and work out what he usually has on that day. For example, every third Thursday, he has just a plain hot chocolate, but with an extra spoon of sugar and cinnamon. I'm very glad that the Hufflepuff common room is near the kitchens, so I don't have to walk too far every morning.

My best friend (I have a friend!) Cathy Wolf is always asleep when I go to give Lysander his hot chocolate, and doesn't notice my absence, then again, she isn't very clever, so probably wouldn't notice anyway. I suppose that was a little hypocritical of me (more big words!), but I like to think I have at least 20 brain cells, my hamster is an (almost) ninja after all. For over 4 years now we've been friends, I think we met because no-one else in our dorm wanted to speak to either of us. Oh well, I like Cathy. Not as much as I like Lysander though. But I don't think Lysander really likes Cathy, I just get this… Vibe from him.

Is that the time? I must go to give Lysander his hot chocolate and see if he has anything of evil importance to tell me.

Bye then, Diary.

Mea :) x

* * *

><p>Guess what! Tessie managed to crawl a bit on the floor! That's the first time she has moved of her own accord when it wasn't to get food since… Well, I can't remember. I have decided to knit her a mini balaclava so she is fully equipped with all ninja-ish equipment, once I learn to knit, that is. I could cut out a small square of Erin's school robes and make a cape though. Hm. That is a good idea. And Lysander will be very proud of my first act of evil. I'm liking this plan very much, very much indeed. Also I found out that Lysander really likes the hat I gave him! I have to admit that it was a <em>very <em>good idea of mine, and I think he was a bit reluctant to admit that he liked it, but I've seen him wear it a lot. It seems as if he's not above birthdays, after all.

I also got an E on my transfiguration essay on how to transfigure objects! I think it was because I worked so hard on the hat. I've never got an E before, not ever! Sadly, I didn't have time to tell Lysander, because he went straight to his lair after the lesson, presumably to work on a new evil plan he has been plotting. He's been plotting a lot lately, and I think he really should have his own lair, so he doesn't have to use the Room of Requirement all the time. To my surprise, he doesn't object to going in there so often: I'd have thought he wouldn't want to use it because so many other people do. The Weasleys and Potters have told everyone about it, and if they use it, surely because they are inferior to my great evil master, he would despise voluntarily being in the same room as them. Oh well, we all know that his mind works in strange ways. It is a most evil mind, after all.

I do think I should sort out a lair for him though, it would make a nice Christmas present, but Christmas is much too far away. I know! A Hogwarts Hufflepuff kindness day shall be announced, where all Hufflepuffs will have to be kind to a member of another house. I quite like that idea, actually.

It's tea time now, and I _never _miss any opportunity to obtain food.

Bye,

Mea :) x

* * *

><p>Well hello again, I just thought I'd tell you that I've had a rethink about the whole 'Hufflepuff kindness day'. It's just not evil enough, and then I'd disappoint Lysander, who is training me as hard as he can to be as evil an assistant as possible. And one should never ever disappoint Lysander. He told me that when he first told me I could be his assistant, actually. So far, I don't think I've let him down. At least I hope not. And I don't intend to, so I thought that if I cast a spell so that if the Hufflepuff doesn't be nice, they will suffer inexplicable torture and pain. Like the cruciatus curse, but less illegal. I might have to ask Lysander to help me perform that though: I'm not that great at fancy evil spells. It is the thought that counts though, right? Because I thought of this evil idea. And it is very evil, don't you think? I certainly do. I hope Lysander thinks so as well.<p>

To be honest, I just created this day so I could have an excuse to build Lysander an evil lair of his own. I don't want him thinking I'm just showering him with gifts because I'm in love with him or anything. Because I'm really not. Unless you count the part where I am. I don't really count that part though, so everything's okay.

Uh-Oh, I can hear Cathy coming in the dorm, I can't have her reading my evil book, Lysander would be extremely disappointed.

Mea :) x

* * *

><p>I'm back! Sorry about that, diary, but Cathy is really nosy. I just said I was doing divination homework though, and she believed me. She's not quite smart enough to realise that I don't actually <em>do<em> divination.

Anyway, I have already planned out what I shall put in Lysander's lair. There shall be one of those large leather chairs he is so fond of, and thinks are 'intimidating' I don't really know what that means, but it must be quite good. A really really big chocolate fountain will be in the middle, because melted chocolate is the best, especially when it is from Honeydukes. On the wall (draped in indigo velvet – like Lysander's pillows) will be a big chalkboard to write out all our evil plans. What fun! I think I also might get him a pygmy puff from Weasley's Wizard Wheezes, so he can stroke it and say "I've been expecting you…" whenever someone enters his lair. That's what I've seen people do on lots of muggle films (I'm a muggleborn, you see), and people seem to be rather frightened by it. I know I would be.

Then again, I am a Hufflepuff, and we aren't exactly the bravest of people.

I find it quite strange actually, that I have managed to write so much in only one day. I have come up with ideas for things and everything, look at Mea being all creative! I was being very evil there, because Lysander says that "The best evil geniuses refer to themselves in the third person. It sounds more authorative, and you know that you are far superior." Basically, it just means that you say your name instead of 'me' or 'I'. I don't really see the point, to be honest, but if that makes me evil then that's what I will do. Occasionally. Anyway, I have thought of lots of things today, and even written them all down. What an accomplishment (Lysander taught me that word as well). You see, I didn't think I really had many thoughts.

Mea :) x


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